Perfectius
by DoilyRox
Summary: After a century of debating and twenty years of construction, the Tenth Circle of Hell was completed last Wednesday. Current residents include not-so perfect MarySues, unfortunate Muses, and, of course, the Writers Themselves. Oneshot.


**I couldn't resist :p Since the 'Black Dragon' is anonymous, I guess I own it. Totally fiction. Any and all references to outside works are completely coincidental.**

**Mwuahaha :] Enjoy!

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After nearly a century of planning, debating, and discussing, the newest addition to hell is finally here. Perfectius, named after its often ambitious inhabitants, was put underway approximately twenty years ago, and opened its flowery doors last Wednesday.

"The very idea was controversial at the start," says a fire-bodied giant Black Dragon, who wishes to remain anonymous, "But after years of soaring around and frying people randomly in the other circles, I really just wanted a place to call my own. So I've been a big supporter from the very beginning."

The Dragon wasn't the only supporter, as people jumped at the chance to be interviewed for the momentous occasion. Even a few of its odd populace wished to let their opinion be known

"At first, I wasn't so sure about it," Mary Sue says (full name Anna Violeta Saphira Millosa Miko Dragonslayer, soon to be Anna Violeta Saphira Millosa Miko Jaganshi the twenty-third), one of many to suffer for her sin, "I mean, I was treated pretty nicely in the seventh circle. Pushing boulders is nothing for someone as strong as me!"

Her giggles quickly turned into sobs as she began to weep overdramatically and in a very ugly fashion. Her hair, unfortunately ratted past any definition of color, texture, or length, was being picked at unceasingly by flying flea-combs to no avail. Her nails, beautifully sharpened, dug into her own skin as she clawed at her face, howling in misery. The skin began mending before blood even began to seep out of the wound, however, and she was stuck for eternity attempting to claw away her shameful features.

"But, after we came here, we decided it was a much more suiting punishment." Finished a misguided Muse (who took the form of a wolf with silver fur, black paws and black-tipped ears, but had seven purple stranded tails, and a glowing red crescent moon upon her forehead to match her bloody red claws), who began her incessant screams (because even though she took the form of a wolf, she spoke like a human) once more as she suffered under the fiery weight of the Black Dragon.

The surrounding beautiful valley was a tough one to afford, says a troll as he began his evening meal of roasted-writer-on-a-stick (the poor thing was so charred we regret to inform you that her name couldn't be obtained; though after twenty days you may visit and ask for her, where you will be directed to a pile of dung, where the troll finished his digestion and will return in approximately thirty days to re-devour her festering, still alive body); "Nobody thought it could be done. After our great over population in the other circles (causing unemployment), we weren't generating enough revenue to support the project; it was almost shut down completely. But thankfully, we could count on our very own Satan to strike a deal."

Satan, or as his online penname says, PwNr-4-L!f3, sent an emergency email to the leader of the Sue Hunters League, a young Miss Abigail Plain. The SHL is a recently formed organization in strong support of hunting down any and every Sue Stereotype and flaming the story in which the character is contained until it's taken down.

"Their noble goal caught my attention immediately, and I knew they could help." Says the King of Hell himself.

Sure enough, the SHL banned together for a mass fundraiser, generating a total of 3 billion USD, enough to fund the building and even support the Tenth Circle for a total of six years.

"It was no surprise that our project had such success!" Claims Ms. Plain, "Our numbers total a very high percentage of the current writer population on earth- and we're growing daily. As a very professional group, we look forward to working with Mr. Satan in the future."

In a post interview offhand comment, Satan made a very kind reply to our question as to whether he truly will be working with the group or not: "Of course! Where else do you think we'll get our list of future residents?"

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**Lol, okay, I REALLY couldn't resist posting this. It was a project was back in December from my Lit teacher while we were reading Dante's Inferno. Yeah, so, this came about. Sue bashing intended. xD What do you think? Worthy enough to be tried?**

**I'm afraid my name's not Abigail Plain, but the idea sounds tempting enough for me xD**

**Review please! Tell me what you think!  
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